Dedicated to Excellence
IPAS faculty bring decades of combined experience in sideline logistics, hydration management, and professional poise. Their leadership ensures each student leaves with both technical mastery and the confidence to serve with silent distinction.
Dr. Elspeth Dower
Dean of Hydration Sciences
With over 25 years in professional fluid dynamics and sideline morale studies, Dr. Dower pioneered the “Triple-Bottle Rotation” technique still used at international sporting events today.
Professor Lionel Bixby
Chair of Caddy Studies
A former championship caddy turned scholar, Prof. Bixby specializes in “Preemptive Club Anticipation” and conducts fieldwork on golfer empathy calibration.
Coach Ramona Tull
Director of Ball Retrieval Operations
Known for her lightning reflexes and calm demeanor, Coach Tull has mentored over 300 professional ball kids, instilling precision, composure, and proper kneeling posture under pressure.
Dr. Theodore Crimp
Senior Lecturer, Towel Management
Dr. Crimp’s groundbreaking research in fabric absorbency and fold retention earned him the 2019 Sideline Excellence Award. His students know: a wrinkle-free towel is a wrinkle-free mind.
Professor Aruna Patel
Coordinator of Athletic Etiquette
A global authority on sports courtesy and respectful handoffs, Prof. Patel’s seminars on “Microexpressions in Service Environments” are required for all first-year students.
Mr. Gerald “Gerry” Kwon
Assistant Professor, Hydration Logistics
A logistics specialist and veteran of four Olympic sidelines, Mr. Kwon teaches practical fieldwork courses on bottle trajectory, cap dynamics, and the ethics of mid-match eye contact.
Dr. Silvia Corbett
Head of Emotional Endurance and Sideline Psychology
Dr. Corbett’s research in “quiet resilience” explores how support staff maintain composure when athletes publicly crumble. Her groundbreaking paper, The Art of Looking Concerned Without Intervening, is considered essential reading in the field.
Coach Byron “Buzz” Elridge
Senior Instructor, Ball Recovery Dynamics
A retired professional ballboy with over 10,000 match pickups to his name, Coach Buzz is known for his legendary sprint-to-kneel transitions. He teaches Advanced Anticipation and the seasonal elective Sliding Safely on Clay.
Professor Mireille Voss
Director of Equipment Sanctity
Specializing in the sacred trust between athlete and gear, Prof. Voss emphasizes mindfulness in every grip and polish. Her workshop, “Dust-Free, Ego-Free: The Zen of Equipment Maintenance”, draws students from across all departments.
Mr. Hal Donovan
Adjunct Lecturer, Crowd Interaction and Applause Management
A veteran event marshal, Mr. Donovan lectures on synchronized clapping, polite booing, and managing rogue spectators. His motto, “Grace under heckling,” is engraved above the main amphitheater door.
Dr. Noreen Alcott
Head of Post-Performance Rehydration Studies
Dr. Alcott leads the Refill Lab, where she studies post-match bottle thermodynamics and the psychological impact of chilled water. She’s best known for her lecture series “Condensation: Friend or Foe?”.
Professor Duncan Rhee
Chair of Laundry Sciences and Fabric Preservation
A pioneer in moisture equilibrium and colorfast protocol, Prof. Rhee’s “Seven Stages of Stain Acceptance” framework revolutionized locker room textile care. He continues to mentor young scholars in detergent diplomacy.